Deck of Many Things

An elven bard walks into a tavern and asks the crowd, "Who's dragon is that outside?"
An older gentleman, dressed in archmage robes stands up, and replies "Mine. Why?"

The bard somberly approaches the mage. "I regret to inform you that the halfling in our party has killed your dragon"

"What!" erupts the archmage. "Your halfling killed Rithvaeraradace. Slayer of the Elminster, Destroyer of Cormyr, Raider of Waterdeep, Ruler of the Dales, Thorn to the Gods, and Bane of all Toril! How did this happen!?"

The bard sheepishly looks at the archmage and replies "Well...the little guy got stuck in its throat!"

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Two elves and a human walk into a bar...

...but ironically, the half-orc was smart enough to duck and spared himself a headache.


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An Elf, Human, and Dwarf order a beer. When the beer arrives, a fly lands in each one.

The Elf shoves the beer away in distain.

The Human flicks the fly away and drinks the beer.

The Dwarf picks the fly up by the wings, holding it over his glass and screams, "Spit it all out you little *******!" (Use This Comment Link)